where did i go

where did i go i feel like ive made a complete 360. Ive definately been here before and i am really not a fan of this return. why cant i just go back to how i use to be i was happy and at ease. unfortunately i am a wreck. I continue to do things that are harmful and i wish i could stop. i want these thoughts to go away and I want to just be completely happy again. I feel like i have no one and that makes it worse I dont kno who to turn too because everyone has let me down. I cannot take anymore stabs to the back i already feel like swiss chesse i want to beable to let go and open up to the ones i care fore but i cannot handle another let down. I dont kno what id do.

Her Bliss

Death is in the flower's heart –
Why to cry for life of any petal?

Death in purple ink of weary pens
Betrays the written yearnings
On her scented paper.

Death is laughing in her cry;
Her broken heart forlorn upon the sleeve.

Death ignores the plight of any purity –
He doesn’t care or seem to be aware of
What her dewy eye desires,
For Death beckoned:

'Embrace the jar! '
And yes, she did –
For Death, of course.

After all, no other man would
Open up her hand and bid her with a kiss,
So Death became her bliss.

M.R. Slaughter


All I have to say is wow

The Pain I feel

The pain I feel is real
it haunts me every day
It makes it hard to breath
I just want it to go away

My pain I feel is unseen
I hide it day to day
I disguise it w a burn
and for a small while I feel ok

The pain I feel is constant
I hide it with a smile
I've taught my self to laugh
even thou I can barely walk a mile

The pain I feel inside
is locked up deep with in
I hide it from myself
I don't want the problems to begin

Ive mastered the pain I feel
or so I have thought
but the pain has resurfaced
the scares it has brought

I'm done with this pain
I don't like it anymore
I wish I could just live my life
with out it knocking at my door

someone please help me
to find myself again
this pain is starting to wear me down
cuz as of late all i can wear is a frown

Thanks for putting me back together

There have been countless times where living seems like too much work and not worth it at all but then I remember I have you guys in my life and it makes it all worth while. I love you guys!!! Thanks for showing me that it is possible to have good friends and that there are people out there who care and wont let you down. I've been thru hell and back and am finally starting to become whole again. So thanks to you guys cuz with out ya I know I wouldn't have made it this far.
:)